By Austin Price, Editor in Chief
I am a woman. Simple statement I know but complicated undertones. I am a woman. I am smart, I am kind, and I am worthy. With every positive aspect from my womanhood comes negative aspects that men do not often face.
I am a woman. I am underestimated. I am taken advantage of. I am used. While these attributes are not only applicable to women, and can spread to men and other identifying persons, I would argue that women feel the brunt of this victimization.
Women are naturally viewed as the lesser sex. I believe this stereotype comes from the Holy Bible in the traditional origin story of creation. For those who don’t know, here’s a quick summary.
Basically, after several days of creating the world, God made man, this man was known as Adam. Adam was a physical being known as the very first human to ever inhabit the world that God just finished. Adam, as the only human alive, was lonely, and despite God’s best efforts by giving Adam plenty of plants and animals to keep him company, he was still unhappy.
And so, God decided that Adam needed a partner, a human partner. However, this human partner could not be the same as Adam. And so, taking one rib from man, God created woman. God created Eve. Eve was made by Adam. Adam supported the creation of Eve. This origin story ties Adam and Eve, man and woman, in a complex relationship that can never be denied. This relationship is one of superiority and debt. Because Eve’s creation would not succeed without a part of Adam, Eve is forever intertwined with Adam, with less power in the relationship. Because Adam assisted in giving Eve life, Eve is now expected to assist Adam as the perfect partner, the ultimate supporter, and the obedient wife.
Despite countless years of life on Earth, and consistent changes in societal expectations and relationship dynamics, the idea that Eve must be everything for Adam remains the same. Women are expected to be everything for men. Now, this idea could be applied to a woman and her friend who’s a man. This idea applies to a woman who’s dating a man. This idea applies to a woman who’s married to a man. This idea applies to a man and woman that are colleagues. This idea applies to a man and a woman that are complete strangers.
The simple truth is that women are not as valued as men. Women are not as important as men. Women are not as appreciated as men. Now, I have no idea how to change this. After generations of this trend remaining consistent, I know that myself as an individual cannot begin to fight this battle. But what I can do is use my platform as a writer to present a challenge to men. A challenge for men to live a day with the same habits, fears, and anxieties as a woman as. I present a challenge for men, to walk a day in my shoes. Well, to be more fashionably up to date and to meet the societal expectations of women’s uncomfortable and entirely dysfunctional footwear, I present a challenge for men to walk a day in my heels.
First, we start with the morning requirements. There cannot be any tangles in your hair. There must be no whiff of bad breath. There must be perfectly clear skin, with not a pimple or acne scar in sight. You must do all these things within a reasonable timespan of at maximum, 20 minutes, or else you will be criticized and mocked for spending too much time in the bathroom.
Up next, you need to get dressed. Now, your outfit must be flattering, but not skimpy. It must be cohesive but not uniform. It must be unique but not obnoxious. And it must be functional but more importantly fashionable.
Now for breakfast. Skip it. You don’t need the calories. And more importantly, you don’t deserve the calories.
As you go about your morning, smile. Don’t smile too much and don’t, under any circumstances, smile showing your teeth. Because if you’re showing your teeth, that means you’re flirting. And if you’re flirting, that means you’re asking for it. And if you’re asking for it, that means you deserve to be taken advantage of. And let’s face it, it’s way too early in the morning to be taken advantage of. But you need to keep semi smiling because if you don’t, congratulations you’re now a bitch.
Alright the day is dragging on. Your feet are killing you because of those stupid but cute and trendy heels you're wearing. Your face is sweating but you can’t do anything about it because of the 2 pounds of makeup coating your face.
But not to worry, it’s lunchtime!
Just kidding, you’re a woman. You don’t get an actual lunch. An actual lunch has too many calories. So, enjoy that green grass protein smoothie. But don’t drink it too fast. Otherwise, you’ll bloat and if you bloat you will look fat. And if you look fat, the day’s ruined.
The afternoon approaches and you check your phone. You notice the date. Crap. It’s the start of your period. And as if on que, your uterus feels like it’s being brutally stabbed by a dagger. Time to run to the bathroom. Also, don’t forget your emergency supplies of clean underwear, tampons, pads and Advil! You know, the stuff you keep in your comically large bag that everyone makes fun of you for? Well now you see the usefulness of being a part-time camel as you drag everyone’s stuff around.
Now that the blood has been cleaned, the clothes have been changed, and the spirit has been broken, it’s time to exit the bathroom where once again, you will be mocked for taking too long. As if you weren’t beaten down enough already, now you deal with the jackass outside asking if you fell in.
Whatever, it’s time to go home now. But, to go home, you need to get to your car. And to get to your car, you need to walk three blocks in the dark. Alone.
Time to prepare for the journey into the unknown. You know what you need to do.
First, grab that pink can of pepper spray your dad gave you when you hit puberty.
Second, grab your car keys and interlace them with your fingers. The goal is to look like a knock off version of Wolverine.
Third, take out your earbuds, and stop your music. You need to be able to hear everything going on around you.
Finally, put your phone in your pocket. You don’t want to be targeted for your lack of attention when staring at your screen.
Alright, now you can start walking to your car. Keep your steps long, eyes wide, and weapons (AKA pepper spray and car keys) drawn. Keep your chin up and your breathing steady.
I know right now it's terrifying. You’re afraid of getting killed, raped or eaten. But no matter what, don’t ever let them see you cry. Fake it till you make it. Keep powerhouse mall style walking to your car.
You’ve made it! But don’t get into the car yet. You need to check underneath the car for predators. You need to check the backseat for predators. Once you’ve climbed in, press the lock button before you even catch your breath.
Alright, you’ve made it. However, the night’s not over yet. Now you need to drive because predators might be watching you. You need to drive home, but constantly check your mirrors to make sure no one’s following you. And you need to take the most complex, twisty roads imaginable because you need to switch up your route every night. You can never give potential predators your routine.
You’re finally home. You’ve checked all the doors and windows to ensure they’re tightly locked. You draw every curtain to make sure no one can see inside.
You set down your heavy bag and immediately begin to strip. Wearing that wired bra all day every day is an Olympic sport. You climb out of your heels leaving you flatfoot. Now you’re 2 inches shorter, and your feet feel like duck flippers but at least you’re back on the ground.
Now into the shower, where you get to scrub off your sweaty, leaky makeup. Wash your hair, pluck the eyebrows, shave everything, scrub everything, put on a face mask, exfoliate everything, moisturize everything, and lotion every inch of your body.
Exit the bathroom and yep, you guessed it, you're being chastised for how long you spent in the shower. After a day of trying to be the expected version of a woman in the 21st century, you get to sleep. But you’re not going to sleep well because you’re still bleeding, and your cramps feel like something trying to escape from your uterus.
Other than that, you made it! You successfully walked a day in my heels! Congratulations! Don’t celebrate too much, cause we’re back at it tomorrow.