By Jesse Stewart, Staff Writer

Far rarer than oil, money, or love, time seems to be the scarcest resource of all. There never seems to be quite enough to go around, despite an abundance of machines designed to free our hands, minds, and attention. Technology helps clear our schedules more than ever before, yet we feel busier than we’ve ever been. It seems that there’s not enough hours in the day, but what if I told you that you already own an instrument that can help you slow the sands of time?

There are approximately eighty million dishwashers in the United States and, if you ask me, that’s about eighty million too many. In numerous polls, half of all Americans feel anxiety due to a perception of not having enough time in the day, despite more than 75% of all households owning a dishwasher, a machine designed for the expressed purpose of freeing up the user’s obligations to cleaning their cutlery and tableware.